Conversations....

He and I still speak....I don't get to hear his voice because we do not call each other or see each other, but we still text from time to time and I have emailed him about guard stuff. We had a conversation about what we should do tonight. For the past 6 or 7 month we have been wine club members at the place called Wine Styles and every Friday we would go to their free wine tastings. I wasn't sure if we should just chance it and see if we end up there at the same time or if we should plan it out so we wouldn't see each other. We worked things out, he said he wouldn't go so that I could. But the more I thought about it the more I felt like there was no way I could handle going there without him. The people who work there would ask "where's your other half" and then ask how he is doing. I knew that would be to hard on me. So, I emailed him letting him know that I wasn't going to go tonight and that if he wanted to he should. He replies back....

"Well I have fun club after school. I’m going to the First Friday Artwalk with one of my friends after that.

Then tomorrow I’m going for a bike ride. Then I’ve been invited to another game night."

I almost went into tears right there....sitting at my desk....with students in the room.

Feeling like, he is out having fun with friends and going to game nights...and here am I....unable to move.