A great phone call...

Tuesday was an interesting day for me.

This summer has been one of the hardest, emotionally, seasons I have had to go through so far in my life. My heart had been broken and I had been carrying around this information about the break up that no one else knows but me. I told myself that I wouldn't tell my family, my closest friends, or anyone else because I knew if we ever got back together they wouldn't understand why I forgave him. I have been unable to heal....walking around as an empty shell of what I once was. For so long I wondered what I did to cause this. Why I wasn't enough.

But Tuesday, Tuesday was a day with clear thoughts for me. They weren't clouded with how much I love him or the sorrow that had filled my heart for so long. I was able to see! See what he did to me...who he is...realizing that he will do the same thing to the person he is with now. If we ever got back together he wouldn't change. I could never trust him the way I did before I knew the truth.

I got a phone call from a very special person Tuesday afternoon, my friend Nick. Nick was the person I was dating when he asked me to get back together...to forgive him and come back to him. I never realized how much Nick cared for me during that time till a few weeks ago when he told me. But I left Nick for him....without a moments pause. Anyway, during our phone call Nick in his very direct way said that I have to cut him off. I told him that I knew that but didn't know if I was strong enough. But then he said "You will be surprised what you have the strength to do when you have no choice. When its something that HAS to be done."

I know it is going to hurt, but I have to rip off the band aid. No more calling, texting, emailing, video chatting, or random meetings. I have to be the one who ends this. I have to be the grown up here, the better person. He calls us friends, but we can never be friends and I cant be this person anymore. I have this great new job, my own house, and this potential for a new beginning. I need to move forward and I know this is what has to be done in order for me to do that.......

Tuesday was an interesting day for me.