Today will be a hard day for me, my coworkers, all of Willard staff, Willard HS students, and most of all for those in the Willard band and ROCT.
We had 3 students pass away in a car accident yesterday after school. I was called about it last night by my principal (one thing I love about working here...everyone is so close) and we had a teachers meeting this morning to learn more information. All 3 of the students were in ROTC and one of the girls was in the color guard. The band is one of the biggest, if not THE biggest, groups here at WHS and ROTC is really big too...so there are a LOT of students effected by this.
This morning, seeing the kids come from the band and ROTC hall way...their eyes filled with tears, completely broke my heart. I have already had one student that couldn't stay in my class, she had to head down to our "comfort room" we have for the students.
When I was in high school I remember getting a phone call late at night about Nicole and her accident. It was so unexpected and that funeral was one of the hardest I have ever had to sit through. When your that young you don't think about death...you almost feel immortal. Till something like that happens.
I was just thinking the other day about the people who are in my life that I care about the most...about if anything would happen to them how it would effect me. My mom, dad, Chrissy, Josh, Caleb, Sarah, Gabriel....Kris....my friends like Justin and Stacey...I don't know how I would handle something bad happening to any of them. It hurts just thinking about it.
Times like this make me wish I was with Kris...makes me miss him more. He is one of the strongest people I know and he always knew how to calm me down or cheer me up. Just being in the same room with him could make me feel better about something. I have to do things like this on my own now. Be strong with no one to lean on...no one to comfort me.
Today is a hard day...
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God is always there to comfort us and carry us through. He has given you light and will continue to shine it for you in these hard times. You are a strong woman and have a great family support system to help you through. Willard is lucky to have you to help them through these times.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear this Sonja.... it will be hard for awhile, I imagine, for the kids to lose friends like that. It's very painful.
ReplyDeleteAs for missing Kris, please read the following -
"Most people look at their current state of affairs and they say, "This is who I am." That's not who you are. That's who you were. Let's say for instance that you don't have enough money in your bank account, or you don't have the relationship you want, or your health and fitness aren't up to par. That's not who you are; that's the residual outcome of your past thoughts and actions. So we're constantly living in this residual, if you will, of the thoughts and actions we've taken in the past. When you look at your current state of affairs and define yourself by that, then you doom yourself to have nothing more than the same in the future."
James Ray, "The Secret"
There is another quote that I have always, always loved that is particularly relevant for you and "stuff" right now to consider -
"All that we are is a result of what we have thought." Buddha
Hugs, Aunt Kathy
You should check out today's devotional,
ReplyDeletehttp://www.upperroom.org/devotional/
Hey Sonja,
ReplyDeleteI was convinced by a friend to contact you. Against my better judgment, I am going to tell you that I am one of Kris' ex's. What I am about to tell you is probably the most horrid thing in my life thus far.
When I met Kris he was unbelievable. I thought that I better latch on to this guy with everything I have because he was unreal. Band director, dancer, singer, wines, travel, speaks French, sweeps a girl off her feet. I remember how he'd make these cd's of music for me, how he'd do all these sweet romantic things that made me think that there couldn't be a better guy ever. When we danced, I felt like I was the only one he'd ever dance with again.
The thing is I didn't know the other side of him. It was little things at first. He'd ignore me in certain places as if we weren't dating at all. He'd flirt with other women. He would deny me things, and make me feel like I was a jerk for pointing those things out. What didn't realize was that he had a problem. He loves women. Not just one woman, women. When he had broken up with me, he'd call in the middle of the night wanting me to come over. He'd sweet-talk me, and for some reason I believed that he was telling me the truth. He made me believe that there was a chance of getting back together despite the fact that he would call other women if I said "No" that night. I didn't know that until much later, though. But in that moment, however, he'd either continue trying to do the sweet-talk or he'd switch to guilt-trip. Then he'd turn around and be back up in break-up mode again. I didn't know about the other women until towards the end with him leaving Nebraska. I also found out he was seeing a sex therapist for his addiction. Apparantly he also seems to suffer from a personality disorder of a Psychopath category of "Superficial Glib". Look it up sometime.
After he left, he continued to text me through the years, wanting to meet up somewhere., same old tricks and charms. I'd be on my road to recovery, and randomly I would get a text. At first, my insticts were to go running back to him to see if he had changed. Then I found out that he was dating someone a year back, I can only suppose it was you, and he was still suggestingly texting me along with some of the other girls I later found out he had relations with while with me. The worst part is the things he would say if I refused. He'd tell me that I WAS THE ONE leading him on, and I WAS THE ONE playing mind games.
Sonja, I know what you are feeling. There is something about this guy that intoxicates a girl. He treated me so horribly towards the end, and I still wanted him to stay. Why? I couldn't ever explain why. Not then. Not now. All I know is that continually allowing him to be part of my life made it hell for me and anyone I tried to have a relationship with after.
If anything, please undestand this...HE WILL NOT CHANGE! He was like this with you, before you, before me...and we dated in 2007. There are others who can claim as far back as 2005.
Take this for what it is worth, Sonja. I have nothing to lose, and only 1 thing to gain...my freedom from him.
Sincerely,
Hastings, Nebraska
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